“Remember when …?” No.
One of the most precious gifts that God has given us—is our memory. Memories are woven deeply into the fabric of our lives—it is the stuff that relationships are made of.
Though, there are some among us, through no fault of their own, who are losing their grasp on their memories. Day by day, one by one. The longer they live, the less they remember. Maybe it’s due to disease, age, or injury—whatever, it’s almost as if, in their mind, their life story is running backward. Their window of “reality” is getting smaller.
All the details of their life and the fruits of their past still exist. It’s ALL still “there.” But as the fog of life rolls in, their window view of their own past journey is misted over. The mental database of all of their acquaintances, accomplishments, and experiences becomes locked … and they’ve forgotten the password. Inaccessible as a corrupted backup drive or an 8-track tape with no player. It’s THEIR life, and to make matters worse, everyone else has access to the details … except THEM.
Even when you try to help them recall together the joy and laughter of past adventures, you find yourself joying and laughing alone. The songs you sang together—are now all solos. The remembering becomes as one-sided as one hand clapping.
Now, in truth, all their past deeds of courage, faithfulness and goodness have not evaporated to nothing just because THEY don’t remember them. Their lifetime of friendships, the fruits of their labors, the milestones of their accomplishments … ALL of it endures like rock-solid timeless treasures—evidence of their journey. Of their BEing. Of their place in the timeline. These things don’t evaporate with a failing memory any more than precious artifacts held in a museum disappear when the doors are locked at closing time.
We who still possess the power of memory cannot, and should not, forget the value of these treasures in this world. We MUST remember FOR them—even if they cannot. Of course, our remembering does little to nothing to restore THEIR memory—but it does everything for their HONOR. Theirs and ours. And by obeying God’s Word, “Honor your father and mother …,” we honor God.
“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech [alone—giving lip service to compassion] but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18 NIV)
Showing HONOR requires more than just memorials—more than just turning them into their own living tombstone. While they’re alive and breathing, honor is also shown through active interest, time spent in conversation (albeit difficult at times), and observable respect … LOVE in LIFE. LOVE in living color. LOVE IN the PRESENT TENSE.
“Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10 ESV)
When the past is lost—and the future is uncertain and scary, life in the present can become terse and tentative—TENSE. The best thing we can do for that loved one, living where time stands still, is to … LOVE in the PRESENT TENSE.
Pour LOVE into the NOW. Fill THIS moment with affection, attention, humor, patience, and understanding. Spoken love, acts of love. Selfless love. Sometimes LOVE is a word. Sometimes LOVE keeps its mouth shut. Sometimes LOVE lets them win … even when they’re wrong.
LOVE in the PRESENT TENSE is not dependent on what happened five years, five days, or five minutes ago—it’s not withheld because of something they said or did … or didn’t. It doesn’t expect “thank yous” because gratitude requires memory. It’s not given with any thought of payback or reward—not offered with worry that they won’t remember … because they probably won’t.
It’s just making the most of THIS moment. Right NOW. Enlarging the good in THIS moment … for the simple sake of THIS moment. No matter how difficult or tense this moment may be, because THIS moment is all we have. NOW. This is where true LOVE is—for anyone and everyone. No matter who you are.
LOVE is in the PRESENT … it IS the gift.
You cannot LOVE in the past—yesterday is gone. You cannot LOVE in the future—tomorrow’s opportunity is not yet yours. It may never be. Just seize this moment.
LOVE NOW—IN the PRESENT TENSE.
(Originally posted March 23, 2024)
